115 meters of freedom

I used to think control was power. But that control cost me love, adventure, and unforgettable moments. Until one day, I jumped.

I have had many regrets over lost opportunities due overthinking about things around me or just sticking to one thought. I have missed many potentially life-changing events by being in control of myself. What could have been the love of my life, or an experience I would never forget, never was. The moment I realized, that these opportunities will never come again, I decided to make a change. ”Go with the flow”, I thought to myself, and nowadays I am better than ever! The pivotal event that changed my mentality was a bungee jump fifteen minutes before my shift as a bartender. ”It is now or never”, I thought to myself, knowing I would be late from work. But I did it. I jumped, I screamed, and I loved every second of it. As I saw the crane, I was frightened. The weather was horrible and the wind made the cage unstable to stand on. After throwing myself 115 meters off the crane towards concrete, I knew I had embraced the mentality. I could have just chicken out and get to work on time, but I knew, I would not do it otherwise.

Even though I had heard the advice ”go with the flow” throughout my life, in the end I gave that advice to myself! Letting go of control was not the only thing I learned, but I also conquered my fear of heights. I embraced spontaneity. That moment changed my life. Nowadays I still feel I am in control of my thoughts and doings, I learned to balance control with surrender and occasionally, I let go.

 

Spontaneity is a teacher

I have seen the spontaneity in my English learning process too. As an former primary school teacher student, I had the opportunity to be an international student representative of our student association. I took it. ”I will never be good enough”. Or so I thought. Though my English was not perfect - neither was theirs. Did that really matter? No. They loved me, understood me. I became their rock, someone they could lean on, a guide if they ever needed one. More than that, I became their friend. I look forward to meeting them again someday.

Hopefully these events occur more to me. I want to learn – to speak better, to feel connected with the world, to become whole. And with my ”go with the flow” mentality, I know I will take the opportunity again. The best lessons come when we stop trying to control everything and just simply do it.

 

Until next time,

Sami.